I'm Still Standing

A little bit before I reached home there was a song on the radio that had the words "Life aint always beautiful, but it's a beautiful life."  I need to adopt that as my mantra for awhile until I make it so.   As I turned into the Condo neighborhood, I swear I felt 10 years older.  That tells me that I need to adjust my thinking about my living place or about how I fit into it. After 9 days and 8 nights on the road, 3293 miles, gas prices of 3.89 to 4.69, hotels from $70 to $299 you would think that I have figured a few things out.  And I have......but I also see myself  being that person who is not content, satisfied or happy in the big picture.   One of my affirmations has been that "the right things happens to me at the right time for the right reasons."  If I truly believe that.....and I do because that is what help me to adapt and keep going.....then why to I feel like I am becoming more like my mother who did not accept herself as she was?  That is the mill

 As a kid we always looked for license plates on our road trips and I think I encouraged my kids to do the same.  So of course, I did my tracking.   First of all, why doesn't every state have a single look anymore? Why do so many people have the vanity plates that spell a name, or some cute thing? On the road I saw all but 12 of the states.  I did not see:   Alaska, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Vermont and West Virginia. New Mexico has beautiful plates, in Oklahoma there are plates for each tribe, the Ohio, Illinois, and Indiana basic plates are easy to recognize as they pass you.   Anyway it was a fun exercise.........

 I have no idea why I shout out "Honey, I'm home" when I go places.  Typically it is when I go to Sally and Jerrys, and here I was actually saying it yesterday when I drove in the driveway.  And I actually was glad to get home.  I was 10 hours in the car, albeit some of that was sitting in traffic jams due to road work and accidents.  I think there were 3 accidents along I-55 and all had emergency vehicles there.  At one of the slowed traffic spots it took 55 minutes to go 5 miles.  There was a semi turned and flipped and a couple of other vehicles.  Needless to say, I was extra careful and observant.  No looking at the map wondering if I should stop or go somewhere.  I decided to just trudge it out and get home.  While I thought a night in Chicago might be nice, I think I was ready for some normalness.  As normal as my mess is right now. I left St. Louis and was able to have a great phone call with Marilyn.  She is someone I do miss hanging with and feeling her positive

 Here I am in St. Louis watching basketball after having a good dinner and staying at the Drury Hotel.  Life is good.  Really....Life is good. My day started finding the Grand Rover Falls in Joplin.  I have to say it was a great experience.  The damn that created the falls was in an area that was like the rock walls you see along the highway.  I sat down on a ledge and just relaxed and listened to the water sounds.  In some ways I wished I had a pillow so I could just lay on my side and spend hours there.  I used my "peace" oil this morning and I really did feel I was at peace.   From there I headed to Springfield, Missouri.  It was on the way home and I had no idea what there was to do.  Luckily I saw on some website that there was a Japanese garden, and remembering how much I enjoyed the one in Oregon, it became my destination.  And yes.......it was a worthwhile destination.  It is part of the Springfield Botanic Gardens, which are free and expansive.  I got in a 2.5 mile w

 Writing about the day before the following morning, has some advantages.  I will probably be less verbose as I am not so caught up in the emotions. My first adventure of the day was to visit the First Americans Museum.  It was very impressive: from the building structure and design itself to the displays, the visuals and the artifacts.  However much of it was another reminder of how our ancestors were not the best people in treating others.  Again, Native Americans were forced out of their lands for the profit of others, were put into forced labor or camps. were denied so many things.  Reminiscent of my feelings at the Civil Rights Museum.  One of the things that I really loved and want to explore more is the creation stories that the different tribes had.  They seemed to connect the elements, the stars, the land, the animals and how they harmoniously came into being and existed.   The next stop was the Cowboy Museum.  I should have read more about it.  I was expecting to see Cowboys.

 Random thoughts......... getting them off my mind. I smile when I remember Grady telling me to take my passport in case I met my perfect man and he wanted to take me to Cuba.  Haven't hardly seen any single men on this trip.  Of course I haven't gone to bars.  May need to change that. I never knew sleeping in a king size bed was so freeing........I sleep on an angle and don't worry about messing up the other side.  Maybe it's just because I don't have to make it. It must be the hotel bathroom lights, but I am now questioning growing out my hair.  I didn't think it looked too bad, and Sally agreed......but now the brownish blonde and gray is not so pretty.   I think I mentioned before that I need to learn to dress for my body shape.....I think I also need to put age in that grouping.   Pretending I was in Hot Springs still, I took a bath today and it has been years since I did that.  It was relaxing at first, but then when I had to shave my legs it reminded me o

 The morning was fantastic. I actually felt little pressure to meet a checklist and decided to just let the morning happen.   I got up early, had breakfast and then set out to walk Bathhouse District to get the the place where I could see the 'waterfalls".  On the way I asked a National Park worker, Nick if I was on the right track, and he informed me that I had to back track a bit and that he is not sure why people say waterfall when it is really just a "cascade"  I did turn around an followed his direction and now have a good understanding why they are called 'hot' springs.  Damn, my hand was red after just immersing it into the water to feel it.  As I headed back towards town, there were also other 'fountains" that were around.  I tested several of them and they were all "hot".  Interestingly, Nick the National Park guy shared with me the temperature that the water comes out of the ground, the way that the rocks around are formed and hav

This morning started out with me wondering what and why.  The alarm clock in the room (which I did not set) started making weird sounds around 5am.  Kind of a crackle thing.  I tried to pull on the chord to unplug it, hit it a couple of times and then must have fallen back asleep.  At 7am, it started again and I realized I had no choice but to get up and unplug and start the day.   So, cheap hotel again....they had a way to make coffee, but not a way to have cream and sugar/sweetener so that was not going to work.  Interestingly enough, when I packed my food travel bag with pretzels, nuts, granola bars, peanut butter and veggies I also threw in a couple of packets of instant oatmeal.  That was a life saver since I didn't get coffee, but I could at least put something in my 'wake up' process.   I got on the road fairly early to head to Little Rock and was again, following the speed limits.  When I google mapped it, the speed traps along the road were identified.  Needless to

Going to Memphis was going to be  day when I had so much time, that I wasn't sure what I would do with myself.  Yeah right..... It was a pretty easy drive and again, slowing down gave me lots of time to ponder things.  Things that took up some of my energy were:     - There are a ton of breweries on my travels.  Distilleries- which I figured since we were in Kentucky and Tennessee which are whiskey companies.  I then wondered about the type of beer Christopher drinks.  I am clueless on that.  I know what I like, but not what others do.       - I was thinking about my trip 12 years ago.  How the heck did I know where I was going?  I am so thankful for GPS which you can put in a city, place or address and it takes you there.  So fantastic.  While I still like to look at a map, I like to trust that I am on the right road.       - Part of my struggle this trip is deciding what to go see, where to stay and being conscious of not imposing on other people just because I feel a need to tal

 Another day of taking it slow.  While driving I was 1-2 mph under or over the speed limit.  There really was not that much to see, but the beautiful earth.  I was able to enjoy the moment I crossed into Kentucky and then the moment i crossed into Tennessee.  Not sure why those were just a moment.  :-)  I had packed some peanut butter singles, carrots and celery and had that for the second day in a row.  Not sure why I just don't stop and get some food in a restaurant.   Decided on the way down that I was just going to stay downtown Nashville.  While I have visited it in the past at the CMA Festival, we did not hang out on lower Broadway or do the museums.  I decided I should and the cost of the hotel should not be the factor.  Had I thought more about it, I should have stayed a bit our of town and ubered in.....Oh well. I did enjoy the Museum and learned about Johnny Cash that I did not know.  I remember as a kid that my dad liked him while my mom liked Perry Como.  I think I woul

 I had a good day yesterday.  So good that I decided to just enjoy it and not worry too much on capturing it.   The drive itself was interesting.  Road work for at least a 30 mile stretch and then it started all over again.  State roads and I69.  Fun. Along the was I saw some things that I might not have noticed if we were driving faster.  There was a "she shed" or kids play shed make out of stones.  Reminded me of the houses in Charlevoix that I loved.  Maybe one of the kids could build for me.  :-)  I also saw a place that did battle reenactments.  There were wood building, some kind of blocks to stand behind, etc.  Hadn't thought about where all those Civil war crazy people go to act out their fantasies.  There are also some of the walls along the roads that were made out of rock.  Quite a beautiful part of nature.   Road 252 in Indiana is one of the curviest roads I have driving recently.  There were fancy house and shacks interspersed.  But what I really found sad wa

Lucky for me i saw a billboard on the way into Indianapolis that advertised "Beef and Boards".  I checked it out and it was a dinner theater venue.  Never had been to one, so thought I'd give it a try.   I was amazed how packed it was, the type of food they serve in the buffet and actually how good the cast was.  I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Made for a late night, but worth it.   Once I was back in the room I turned on the news and it was reported that coming into Indianapolis Center would be a traffic nightmare in the morning since there was a marathon going on.  Agonized all night whether I should go or not........then decided that I could probably live without seeing the Eitljung Museum and the 2 floor NCAA museum. The news also reported that the Kentucky Derby was occurring in Louisville.  Probably also not the smartest stop on the trip.  Therefore am heading to Nashville IN - an art community and then probably from there to Evansville which as a lot of parks.   Mayb

 Again, following my typical tendencies, I was ready to postpone the trip.  It was raining, my knee was acting up, my fingers hurt, and during the night I had dreams that I packed the wrong clothes..  (It is never easy being me.)  I made myself just start moving and was out of the house by 9:10am.  I switched my trip tracker to B, so I will know how many miles I actually get in.  I did some chanting and then took time to listen to the Highway.  I reached the Indiana border at 10:42am but was amazed/reminded that highways in IN are not like those in MI.  Seems like you are on a two lane road with speed limits at 50 or 60 and very few places to pull over and take a break.   I finally decided to stop in Peru, IN since I remember hearing about that town from Mark ? who I worked with at JnJ.  It is circus town Indiana, but I more or less felt that it was just a small town like we have in Michigan.  Old buildings,  small businesses, local support etc.  At least I got out of the car.  Refille

 If I needed an excuse to talk myself out of doing this........I had plenty of them today.   Was basically nauseous all day, popped Rolaids constantly, packed and tried to be prepared for the warmer weather that is predicted and realize I have few summerish clothes, my knee felt like it was going out again, tried to facetime with the kids to say "goodbye" and those calls were a bit odd.  (Poor Connor has a broken collarbone, Kellan was gone and Skylar was busy but I did get to see her toothless smile.  At the TC Johnston's it was just Elise and I had even asked if I could talk to the parents, but no luck  However I did learn how to use emogis while I am facetiming.)     Obviously my going on the trip is a bigger deal to me.  While I was hoping for a grand send off, I got a "keep in touch".  And yes, this fits with my "I'm still standing" mode.  I  am moving on......... My notes to my friends telling them I was doing this was met with much more enth

I have no idea how I just signed up again for being able to blog.  I guess that fits with my title....Im still standing even though I have no idea how and why.    I am getting ready to embark on a new road trip starting tomorrow.  I have talked myself out if it several times-still questioning my decision today-but I know I need to do something to jumpstart myself.  The past couple of years have been hard for many reasons.  Covid, John's cancer, no longer working, mom's decline, self isolation, political climate.....I could go on and on with reasons that I have basically shut down and since I am so good at introspection - i know I need to do something to shake things up. The other day my Facebook peeps were posting what song defined them.........so, I did the test and mine came up with Elton John's "Im still Standing".  At first i was not impressed - but the more I thought about it I do think it sums up me.  I have experienced love, loss, rejection, acceptance, hig